Welcome to your new baby: Becoming a parent or a sibling

Becoming a Mum

(Welcome to your new baby magazine page 40.)

Having a new baby is probably the biggest event that can happen to a woman. 

There will be physical, emotional and mental changes – some immediate and others over the coming years. 

You can’t be completely prepared for all these changes, but it helps to know what to expect.

• Your relationships will change. 
  • You’re now someone’s mum. 
  • If you have a partner you are now a family, not just a couple. 
• Someone depends on you for his survival. This can be exciting, but also demanding and scary. 
  • You might worry about how well you’re doing. 
  • You will get lots of advice from lots of people. This can be helpful, but can make you worry more. 
  • Stick to your own ideas about the sort of mother you want to be. 

It’s OK to be a ‘good enough’ mother – don’t try to be ‘perfect’. 

• Slow down! Newborn babies rarely fit into your routines and schedules. Slowing down can be as hard as being too busy! 
• Changing hormone levels, sleep patterns and adjusting to your new role can make you feel more vulnerable, sensitive and easily upset. 
• A lot of hopes and dreams come with a new baby. That can mean some disappointments and a lot of ups and downs in emotions for a while. 

Society doesn’t always value the importance of being a mother – or it shows ‘perfect’ mums with angelic babies! But, by doing your best to care, love and help him grow, you are giving your child a tremendous gift. 

Looking after yourself is important

Becoming a mum involves a lot of change, but also opportunities to grow as a person. 

• Be loving and gentle to yourself. 
• Look for, and accept, caring support while doing this valuable job.

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Being a Dad/Partner

(Welcome to your new baby magazine page 41.)

This magazine is for you as well as mum.You’ve been preparing for the birth of your baby during your partner’s pregnancy. Now they’re home, you’re probably wondering, ‘what now’?

Relax and enjoy your new baby 

Parenting skills take practice – you get better and more confident the more you do.

• If your baby is upset, hold her close to your chest where she can hear your calming voice and heartbeat and feel the warmth and touch of your skin.
• When you show affection, a special chemical is released in your baby’s brain. This chemical makes the baby feel good and also helps brain development.
• Being a hands-on parent is one of the most important ways of helping your baby grow and develop into a healthy and well developed person, with the necessary skills to bounce back from challenges. 

If one of your roles is to earn your family’s income, think about how much time you can take off work or how you can change your work life. 

Although it sometimes doesn’t feel like it at the time, your child will only be a baby for a short time. The love, hugs, kisses and comfort your baby needs cost nothing, yet help set her up for the rest of her life.

You and the baby’s mother may have different expectations and the reality of having a baby at home may be different again! A really important part of being a parent is to communicate with the rest of the parenting team. 

Many people say ‘parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever do’ – but then add ‘it’s also the most rewarding job’. 

Remember you are not alone– talk to your partner, family, friends, workmates, or an appropriate professional. Nobody was born an expert at parenting and we are all improving every day.

If you have any questions about parenting, you’re welcome to speak to your child health nurse. 

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Older children 

A new baby brings big changes for everyone in the family, especially young children. 

It can be a stressful event in a toddler’s life, particularly if he’s under 2 – he may not have developed a strong sense of security. 

You will have less time for your toddler after your baby arrives, so he might feel less loved. 

Keep your relationship with your toddler positive – it will help to build his self-esteem and confidence. 

When mum is in hospital 

• Give your toddler as much contact with you as possible. Even if he cries when he has to leave, it is better for him to see you and know where you are. 
• Make him feel special – concentrate on him rather than the baby during the visit. 
• Send a special photo and message just for him by phone. 
• Give him a photo of you and something to look after while you’re away, like an old set of car keys. 
• Sometimes a present from the baby to big brother helps, and he might like to make or choose a present for the baby. 

When baby comes home 

Expect some change in your toddler’s behaviour, no matter how well prepared he is. It takes time to adjust, especially as this new person will be getting more attention.